Are We Home Yet?

We’ve been ‘home’ for exactly two weeks as of writing this, and during this time as we’ve been settling in, I’ve had a near constant thought on my mind:  What does Home mean for us exactly?

I don’t think we’re fully ready to answer that yet, but I’m going to put down some thoughts from our discussions so far and maybe writing this will help clarify a few things for us, as well as provide an official closing for this chapter.  This gets a bit personal, but hey, we’ve reached the denouement (thanks Mr Kessler) … and this is my writing therapy!

First Mission Statistics

First of all, here are some of the stats since acquiring The Enterprise:

• We officially moved in on August 6, 2021.  We stayed in our home on wheels for 248 consecutive days.  
• Our trip started on Oct 7, 2021, giving us a total of 186 days on the road.
• We added exactly 6,500 miles to The Enterprise starting Oct 7.
• We drove through 10 states.
• We had 40 different stops ranging from 1 to 14 nights.

Questions

When adopting a new way of life, it would be remiss to think that some type of transformation wouldn’t take place, but that’s not something you think about when you set off on a new adventure.  To begin with, our major concerns were things like:  Can we really drive this thing and pull a vehicle behind us (~56 feet of total length)?  Will we go stir-crazy in a matter of weeks without any escape hatch until April of next year?  What kind of problems will we encounter that we’re not thinking of?  What are the unknown costs and can we actually afford this?  Can we really leave our friends and family?  Besides the questions, there was also the general excitement of taking on the challenge of doing something completely new to us, and looking forward to visiting and learning about places we’d never been.  So we weren’t really thinking about what Home meant back then.

From the beginning of this trip, I did however, pay particular attention to my level of happiness.  I’ll discuss that further on and whereas those changes weren’t surprising to me, I think it’s worth a few sentences.

I also tried to think of what I would say if I was asked the question that every sports figure, or probably anyone at this point is asked in an interview (likely because reporters aren’t involved enough to ask anything actually interesting): “How important was this win to you?”, or in our case …”What did this mean to us?” (If anything).  

Answers

Luckily the first questions were answered fairly quickly and it didn’t take us long to settle into a new lifestyle.  Definitely, the first couple of long drives were intimidating.  New challenges presented themselves regularly, but each one was a chance to become a more confident driver as we cleared them.  The winding cliffside roads in Oregon, construction zones and single lane bridges that seemed barely wide enough, the constant semi traffic I’ve already talked about, strong cross winds, and of course the attitude some drivers tend to have toward a big rig in front of them (cutting you off or not letting you in) were all things to deal with.  But over time the white knuckles were replaced with less tight gripping and more finger drumming with the tunes on as I learned to relax behind the wheel and deal with these challenges.  

We didn’t go stir-crazy or have cabin fever.  If anything, the better weather (for the most part) offered us the opportunity to get out more than we normally would, and of course visiting new places was a big catalyst to go ‘do stuff’.

Knock on wood, or whatever other superstitious activity you may engage in, but we were very lucky having only minor issues with the motorhome and ourselves.  We’ve read so many horror stories of people with brand new mohos who don’t get very far before major problems set in and trips are completely canceled.  For us there was none of this, and there weren’t any illnesses that slowed us or our pups down.  I think we did most things we set out to do, and accomplished our mission statement pretty well!  We even had a little bourbon and chocolate! 

On Transitions

Although I believe there is a general trait in people to resist change, I also think most can adapt quickly.  As this was change we were readily accepting, perhaps our adaptation was an easier process, but I noticed early on that moving from place to place didn’t feel that much different than living in just one.  Even going from a large home to a very small one didn’t seem to be much of an adjustment at all.  Reflecting on my own life and observing others, I’ve noticed there is a fairly normal process of accumulation, and then downsizing.  People do this at different stages of their lives, but I think it happens to most at some point.  Downsizing may be an understatement in this case, but we sold, gave away, and stored the rest of our belongings that didn’t go with us, going from a large home to the RV.  But after a while, we started to wonder why we are storing anything.  We must not need these items and whereas I would have a hard time letting go of some possessions (my guitar collection for one), I think a lot of the rest is unnecessary.  (Guitar collection absolutely necessary).  Whereas moving into The Enterprise was a forced downsize, the next phase should be a bit easier as we let more of our stuff go.  Living without the complications of having to take care of a lot of ‘stuff’ is a pretty good feeling (when you take the time to think about it).  It’s not to say that living in an RV doesn’t have it’s own set of complications, but in general it is a simpler life.

On Happiness

Does a simpler or just different lifestyle affect happiness?  This is a question I was hoping to answer as “Greg and the Search for Happiness” (my happiness meter) has been a source of ambiguity in my life.  I envy people that seem truly happy all the time.  But it’s not that I’m not happy, it’s that I’m just content and it makes me wonder what’s different about me and those jubilant *******s.  For instance, not having to go into the office you’d think would be a major defining role in happiness level, but whereas the F word isn’t the first thing out of my mouth anymore when my feet hit the floor in the morning, the rest of the day doesn’t seem to make me any more or less happy.  So I think that’s more to do with what time I get up than whether I’m going to the office.  I’ve studied this subject ad nauseam, but one thing that seems to be a part of being happy is having an opposite, or adversity.  It’s generally required!  We had plenty of that before we began this journey, so my immediate happiness that I actually noticed when we moved into The Enterprise may have been due to a far lower level than what I was used to in the months prior.  But I did actually notice myself feeling happy.  I would smile and take note of it!  I know I was thinking back then that maybe I had finally found the one thing we were meant to do!  As time went on though, life became very much the same as always, except we had the great opportunity of experiencing unfamiliar places.  I’ve said it before – we certainly count our ‘blessings’.  But I noticed us settle into our new lifestyle, and I was back to being just content.  We’d do our daily routines and it didn’t feel much different than if we were home.  The living space size even went away and it seemed totally normal to be in that small space.  I suppose this is all good, and maybe content is just the normal state of being for most people (or at least me).  But to answer the question at the beginning of this paragraph:  Does a simpler or just different lifestyle affect happiness?  Maybe, a little.

One point to add about this subject is that I’m still working.  I think I enjoy work and I wonder what I’ll ever do without it, so I don’t think that really affects my happiness.  Asking Tami about this though, she says she is much happier now after leaving her job.  She misses the people, but not the work and her happiness meter has gone up several notches!  If I ever retire maybe I’ll have a different perspective, but I already know it may not be better!

Conclusions

Now getting back to that question we’ve been discussing since moving into the AZ house:  What actually is the definition of Home for us?  Additional questions arise from that one:  Where do we actually live?  Is an address important if we only sleep there and spend the majority of our time working to pay the bills and make the shareholders wealthy?  Is it a place where we decorate for the season and set out our special plates on holidays?  How much room do we need to sleep?  Can we live ‘on planet earth’, sleep in a small space, and call that home, or can home be wherever we are at any particular time?  Traditional living pretty much answers those questions, but both Tami and I have a much more fluid view than if we would have answered them a year ago.  I thought it would be easy to make a distinction between home living and RV living once we moved out of The Enterprise and into the AZ house.  But strangely, besides some extra room, it doesn’t feel different for either of us.  In fact for me, I haven’t slept one night here in the house as well as I did in the RV.  And our routines are pretty much the same other than I have a lot more work to do on the house.  I think Tami put it best when we discussed this last:  “Home for us now is wherever we rest our head at night.”  It could be as simple as that!

During our travels we noticed how many people live in their RV full time, even with large families.  I don’t know that it’s due to being cheaper (for some probably yes), because in many cases it could be more expensive.  But I think being able to experience different places is a life goal that people are realizing is attainable.  Our workforce has become much less permanent, people are more comfortable with short term work contracts, and COVID forced businesses to make a mobile or remote staff happen.  There are new and beautiful RV parks being built across the country as more and more people turn to this lifestyle.  We’ve also discovered a wonderful community of RVers who actually meet their neighbors, help each other, and are friendly and welcoming!  This is mostly in contrast to our experience with traditional neighborhood living.  If you asked us a year ago if we would be full-time RVers, we wouldn’t have answered yes. We’re still not ready to say yes, but the slider has moved further in that direction.

As for happiness, I noticed an uptick when we left, I noticed an uptick when we got ‘home’, and I notice an uptick now when I think of our next chapter.  Maybe a constant state of change is what makes me the happiest!  And as I’ve said many times, we certainly don’t take this opportunity for granted – I’m really happy we can do it.  OK – it’s complicated!

Finally, on that last subject, there will be another chapter coming up in the next couple months.  I’ve debated whether to keep writing about it.  As I think it’s a good way for us to reflect on our travels, it creates a diary we’ll look back on, and many of you have taken the time to tell us you enjoy reading our updates, the blog will likely continue through the next phase.  We have a much larger and more aggressive trip in terms of mileage and stops planned from June through December.  And then when we return to AZ, we’ll look at these questions again and see if our current definition of Home matches what it does now, or perhaps needs further refinement.  To quote Elsa Dutton (one of the most eloquent TV series characters ever) from “1883”,  “What’s lacked in material comfort is regained in the knowledge that they are always home. To them, the journey is the destination.”  Maybe the journey could be our destination. Time will tell. 

We appreciate all of you, and hope your search for happiness is fruitful.

“How important was this win to us”?  It was really important.

Greg & Tami